Mr. Wake

Are you understand?

Location: Kamakura, Kanagawa, Japan

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Sick Kid

Baby's got the pukes. Wife took her to the doctor, whose office is a two minute walk away, and he said that she's got the pukes and a fever. Watch for dehydration. He could either give her a shot that stops the pukes and then Wife could fill her with water. Or she could take her to the hospital and they can put water directly into her blood. Wife decided for shot and drinking. When they got home Baby was clearly getting some weird fever mojo. She said, "My hands. Where are they.? Oh, there they are." But soon Wife thought it might be a convenient time to go to the hospital. Everyone was at the house (except me) including her parents and two or three housekeepers and/or care workers. They were there to take care of her great aunt, Mino. So Wife went back to the doctor and asked to be hooked up at the hospital. He made the call.

Then I'm at work on my way to the dining hall and I get a call from my boss, Wife's brother. He told me to come to the office. You see I had no idea what was going on with the baby and the doctor. Boss told me that my baby was at the hospital, and that I should eat my lunch and go. So that's what I did. A coworker was nice enough to lead me there in his car, since there is no way I would have been able to follow directions in this country.

At the hospital I found Wife holding sleeping Baby with one of the housekeepers and/or care workers fussing over them. They had been admitted to the kiddie ward of the emergency room. Panic level: 0. In fact everyone was a little bored. Baby already had an IV drip going, and that would last about two hours. So we hung out for two hours and tried to guess what was wrong with the other kids. The one next to us was unusually calm for having a burst appendix. Wife didn't know how to say "burst appendix" in English, so she told me "her guts exploded." I said, "how the hell does that happen," and then we worked it out.

A nurse came by and said that there was a really important case coming in, and that the doctors and nurses would be busy with that. So it's possible we would have to chill for longer than two hours. Wife asked if baby could have another IV in that case. Why not? She'll just pee what she doesn't need. It's not like she's going to swell up like a little pink watermelon. The nurse said why not. When she left, Wife explained to me that she learned how to be a good patient from watching Gray's Anatomy and House. You have to be assertive. If you want something ask for it, even if you don't really know anything about medicine. If it's stupid the doctor won't do it anyway. Can't hurt.

Then we saw all the nurses and doctors go somewhere. The special case had arrived. A little later they all came back. We also saw someone walk buy with an insulated bag. So we thought maybe he was there to harvest the little organs (this line of thinking also comes from Gray's A and House). But then we realized that you probably can't harvest a baby's organs. You might as well harvest the whole baby, and that's what everyone was trying to do anyway. We actually have no idea how the special case turned out.

Once our two hours was up they shut off the IV (we ended up with just the one), and the doctor told us that Baby's innards were sufficiently moistened, and we would split. So naturally Wife asked if she could score some extra fever meds in case Baby's fever came back. He said why not.

Baby's doing fine now. She slept for about two days, during which the Gray's Anatomy Hours Watched Index skyrocketed. I can't watch the thing. I tried a few episodes, but it's so freakin girly I'm afraid I'm going to start menstruating if I watch anymore. Baby woke up yesterday and the first thing she said was, "Bread. Big bread. Big bread. Lots of bread." So she's got her appetite back. But the volume coming out the other end more than makes up for decline in puking.

Apparently she has the Norovirus. Which isn't fatal but is very annoying and quite contagious. Wife is hopeless. She's done for. I'm trying to lay low and avoid Baby juice.


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